The Christmas story of how our little yellow bottle saved Christmas.
Hey JOLTers!
Grab your mulled wine, your fluffiest blanket and a cheeky mince pie (or two). We’re coming at you with a bit of a twist from our usual blogs. It’s our very own JOLT Christmas story, and we promise, it’s one for the books.
It started last Christmas. While the rest of us were drowning in mulled wine and questionable Christmas karaoke, one man was struggling to stay afloat. That’s right. Santa himself.
Poor St. Nick was running on fumes. Mrs. Claus had stopped giving him that look, the elves were unionising against overtime (probably fair), and the man hadn’t had a decent gym session since the Industrial Revolution. Not to mention the 2 billion houses on his list. The weight of Christmas was heavy (literally) because the old guy could barely lift his sack.
Fast forward to the big night. Santa’s usual survival kit, a triple-shot of espresso and an energy bar, was barely making a dent. He loaded up his sleigh, dragging along present stuffed sacks and an unusual amount of small yellow bottles. Confused, but too tired to care, he set off into the night, already dreading the endless mince pies, and milk waiting for him at every stop.
Cut to house number 537,294. Santa crash-landed and made his way to the nearest fireplace. But instead of the usual sugary snacks, he spotted… JOLT? Next to it, was a small note that read:
“Dear Santa, We’ve been good all year, but we can’t say the same for you. Remember last Christmas? You forgot the LEGO set, the Barbie Dreamhouse, and the dog chew toy. Not cool. We figured you might need a little help, so here’s some JOLT. Don’t let us down this year.”
Santa rolled his eyes. Not that Russell Kane guy and his ‘biohacking’, he thought. But hey, it was desperate times, and let’s be real, curiosity always wins.
Somewhere over Greenland, Santa caved. He popped open the bottle and downed three capsules. *Cue the unrealistic Christmas miracle*
Reindeer reins in one hand, sack in the other, he got through 25 countries in under three hours. He was tossing gifts like there was no tomorrow, checking the list and checking it twice. By dawn, the sleigh was empty, and he could’ve done it all again if he really wanted to.
Oh, and when he got home, let’s just say Mrs. Claus was very impressed. We won’t tell you the details, but it was a white Christmas, to say the least.
This year, St. Nick looks a decade younger, the elves are singing his praises, and the North Pole is back to being the jolliest place on Earth. And us? We are now considering extending JOLT’s international territories to Lapland due to record levels of demand.
Please note: While Santa’s transformation might have had a little Christmas magic sprinkled in, there’s no denying the power of JOLT. JOLT can help you feel your best self, and our 7 ingredients have a sack-full (excuse the pun) of benefits. To start your JOLT journey, head to our website.
Don’t wait for a miracle like this one.
Until next time, Stay merry,
The JOLT Team